Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
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no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize