He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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