my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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