to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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