Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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