you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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