I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
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Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
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Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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