I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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