$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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