Non-Jews are for practice
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize