Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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