I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semen is not good for contacts.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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