dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Randomize