brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
barbara walters just said penis...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
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Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
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Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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