dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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