We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
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Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
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you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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