She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
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Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
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Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize