one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
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