I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize