Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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