areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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