if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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