so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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