I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize