My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
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Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
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Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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