marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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