We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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