I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize