Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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