best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
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Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
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If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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