Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
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