Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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