where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
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