Pregnant stripper...not hot.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize