Midget sex pt 2 tonight
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize