Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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