K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize