Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize