He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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