I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
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You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
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Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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