I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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