I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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