I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
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Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
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He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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