you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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