I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize