I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
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I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
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I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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