Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
where does the pee come out of this thing
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize