You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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