so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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