The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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